Broken dreams
by Warrior by heart
Summary: Kel gets kicked out, and her dreams are crushed.. my own version of a "Kel gets kicked out, and goes to the convent"-story, it's not as bad as the summary.. please R&Rtitle may change
1. Chapter 1

This is another "Kel gets kicked out" story. (I might change the title.. )

I just wanted to write my own one. I'm down with a fever (damn it!), and I just got this idea while doing ... Well nothing. I was really bored. But anyway, I wrote this really quickly so there's probably a lot of spelling - and grammar errors... I know that Kel is a little (maybe a lot) Out of character. But it makes it more dramatic 

-And I think people really react strongly when their dreams are crushed. Something like that…

To the readers of "Falling behind" I'm sorry!

I know I probably should write the next chapter instead of writing this…

But it seems that it's only with that story I'm having that mayor-writers block,

Well anyway, hope you'll enjoy this too 

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Chapter 1 -not allowed to stay- 

She was beaten, they had won. Keladry of Mindelan looked in the mirror. – She was only eleven and her dreams had already been crushed. She tried hard to fight back the tears, but it was more difficult than it had ever been. She didn't know what to do; she just sat there in front of the mirror, looking at her reflection. There was a knock on her door, but she didn't move. "Kel? Are you in there?" she knew the voice, but she didn't want to face any of her friends right now, especially not Neal. She stayed silent. And Neal quickly gave up, - probably thinking she wasn't there.

Now she couldn't hold back the tears anymore, and they rolled down her cheeks. She tried her best not to sob. 'I must be strong' she told herself, but she had a hard time believing in it. Her dreams had been crushed, how could she be strong? She wasn't allowed to fulfill her dreams, she wasn't allowed to stay. She wasn't worthy, just because she was a girl! She couldn't fight them back this time; it wasn't like fighting Joren and his comrades, - they were only tree, now almost everybody was against her fulfilling her dream, and how could she fight everybody?

Again someone knocked on the door, "Keladry of Mindelan, your carriage will be here soon" a voice said. She immediately got up, and opened the door. "My carriage to were?" she asked the servant outside. She forgot about her red eyes for a moment, and the servant ignored them.

Still looking calm he said: "Your carriage to the convent, Lady Kel". He turned around and leaved.

Kel stood in the doorway for a moment, before closing the door. She just stood there starring at nothing. Of course she was going to the convent! It shouldn't have been such a surprise; after all, were else would she go? Where else would they send her? She threw herself on the bed, with a yell of frustration, and grief.

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It was dark. Like a ghost she made her way to the carriage. She couldn't say goodbye to her friends in person. That would be too painful, and too humiliating, and she already felt humiliated enough as it was. But in her hands she held a letter; she twisted it between her fingers, unsure of what to do with it. It was for them, all of them, Neal, Merric, Seaver, Roald, - All of them. She had written it just before leaving. She stopped before the carriage, where a small amount of people where gathered. Her family wasn't there, -her parents where at the Yamani islands, and her brothers where on duty. But among them was Salma the servant who had helped her a great deal, and encouraged her when some of the boys had destroyed her room. Kel stopped before her, and gave her the letter "Could you please give this to Nealan of Queenscove?". Salma nodded, and gave her a quick hug, whispering: "I still think you would have been a great knight". Kel could feel the tears in her eyes again, "Thank you". And that was the last thing she said.

As she was about to enter the carriage she was stopped. "I'm sorry, but it's inappropriate for a girl to be training as a knight. You would have snapped, and someday you'll thank me for this".

She looked into the eyes of the training master, but she didn't say a word. She looked away, and stepped into the carriage. She looked up at the palace, as the carriage brought her further away from her dreams. She couldn't say anything, she didn't want too. She didn't want to speak to anybody. Nobody, ever again…

She watched as the palace disappeared. She hadn't left anything but an empty room, and a note saying:

_I wasn't allowed to stay,_

_But at least I know you'll all make great knights someday, _

_Thank you for your support._

_I'm Sorry, _

_Kel_

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Hope you liked this chapter even though it's a bit short  

- Warrior by heart...


	2. Chapter 2

Wow, it's been a long time.. I haven't written any fan fiction in over a year :O

Well, anyway, I couldn't just disappoint my reviewers by not finishing my stories.. so here I am again..

This is actually something I wrote a long time ago, but I might as well publish it:

So here it is :

(a little reminder: English is not my first language, so there might be some spelling and grammar errors – sorry :S )

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Chapter 2 – Going back ?

Kel waited outside the headmaster's room. She knew what this was about, and inside she was a mess, - thoughts whirling around in her head. But on the outside she wore her mask, so nobody could tell what she was feeling. She only took it of when she was alone, - not wanting anybody to see how confused and miserable she really felt. They shouldn't see her broken down! She wouldn't give them the satisfaction. She wouldn't let them win!

"Lady Keladry, Please follow me". She stood up, and followed the sister into the room. She curtsied towards the headmaster, as she was supposed to. "Lady Keladry. You're sixteen aren't you?".

Kel nodded, she always nodded. She never spoke.

"And you have been here in five years, is that correct?" the headmaster continued. Again Kel nodded. "Fine" the headmaster looked trough some papers on her desk, "A carriage will arrive here in a week, and it will take you and some of the other girls to the palace. Some of the girls are betrothed, but I don't suppose you are?". It was clearly that the headmaster hated her. Kel hadn't said a word since she arrived at the convent five years ago, and she had refused to leave her glaive with them. Kel looked down.

"Well then. Behave! I don't want you to cause a scene. Is that understood?". The tone in the headmaster's voice was harsh. But Kel was use to it, she just nodded.

"You can leave now". Kel turned on her heals, and walked out of the rooms.

Cause a scene!? She didn't even want to go to the palace! Her face was emotionless as she went back to her room. Inside she was a mess of different emotions.

The palace, that meant all her old friends, enemies, and all the other people who had gossiped about her. Going to the palace would mean: facing them all!

The thought was terrifying, the humiliation when she left had been almost too much, and now seeing them again. As a lady! –no, she wasn't a lady. They thought they had tamed her. They thought she had gotten rid of her glaive, -she hadn't, it was hidden underneath her bed. They thought she had finally become a lady. She couldn't wait to get out of this place. Even though it meant facing her past. She lay down on her bed; she didn't care if she ruined her dress. She took a book from a small table next to her bed, and began reading. It was in Yamani, so none of the sisters had any idea about what she was reading. They probably thought it was poems. They couldn't have been more wrong. She smiled at the thought. "Lady Keladry!", a voice sounded from the hallway. She sighed: the peace was over. Seconds later, a knock sounded outside her door, and a short girl her age stepped in: "They send me to get you, -our sewing class started minutes ago!".

Kel got up, and followed the girl. Sewing? Since when did court "beauties" have to learn how to do that? –Kel hated the sewing classes. She thought them dull, and unnecessary.

But still she followed the girl, she didn't need anymore trouble. A week that was it, and then she could get out of there.

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I hope you liked my update :)

Please review! I can always use some inspiration !


	3. Chapter 3

Hi, I'm back!

I've had a long period of sickness, but thanks to chickenchick – who had a bone to pick with me because of my infrequently updating :) (and whose review I got waaaaay too late because of my stupid old e-mail) and my other reviewers - I decided to write this chapter, and it actually only took me about an hour! (I already had the story in my head :) )

I hope you can overlook my typing and grammar errors

ENJOY!

Love,

Warrior by heart

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Chapter 3

-The castle-

As the carriage stopped, Kel just wanted to escape from everything. She had pushed all the humiliating memories to the back of her mind, but now –in the palace. She couldn't suppress them anymore.

All the girls around her were talking excitingly, giggling and gossiping about what they had heard about the palace so far. Kel wasn't interested, she _knew_ the palace. She was more worried about getting out of the carriage without being noticed. Everyone knew that the squires and young knights would be the first to welcome the young ladies from the convent, and she certainly didn't want to see some of her old friends right now. A servant opened the carriage, and the girls almost fought to get out first. Kel on the other hand, just tried to get out as unnoticed as possible.

Outside she wanted to keep her head low, and her eyes fixed to the ground. But she decided against it, - she wouldn't be defeated; she would held her head high, -even if she was hiding.

There was a small crowd around the carriage, most were young men.

The prettiest of the girls were already being escorted to their rooms. Kel swallowed hard, this was it. She tried to seek out familiar faces in the crowd, but as soon as she found one, she wished she hadn't.

It was Neal; his green eyes searched the crowd with anxiety. He was probably looking for her, she realized. She had hoped to keep the embarrassment of her the new living arrangements a secret, but of course they must have guessed where she was sent.

She had tried to get out of the convent, and go to the Yamani islands to stay with her parents, but the situation there were too unsafe, or at least so her parents had said. She had heard of the Yamanian civil war, but anything would have been better than the convent. Anything!

She sneaked a peak at Neal. He looked all grown up. He had to be a squire now.

She turned her eyes down; she couldn't stand to look at him any longer -It hurt too much.

Soon the crowd thinned out. Neal had given up, and Kel breathed a sigh of relief. She wouldn't want any of her former friends to see her like this. She looked a lot different from back then.

She had been forced into dresses, and her hair now reached her waist – At first she had cut her hair short time after time, but then the sisters at the convent had banned her from any scissors and sharp knives. At first she had tried using her hidden glaive, but she soon discovered that you couldn't cut your hair that way – and she had a scar on her cheek to prove it.

Her clothes and hair were of cause only the "fashionable" changes. She had also grown a lot these four years. She wasn't a delicate little flower –as was preferred in convent girls -, but she had grown into her "lump-ness". She would never be petite, not with her high. But she had found some characteristics that she actually thought quite beautiful. She had to.

The other girls at the convent only made fun of her. "The bear" and "Blacksmith hands" had been some of the most frequent nicknames. She was just different. She couldn't help that she was taller than the other girls, and she could help that her hands were rough from training. Most of the time she just ignored it, but sometimes one of them would hit a sore spot. Her Yamani mask had been of great use, she wouldn't let the girls see that they had hurt her.

Not talking and being silent wasn't very difficult - She had no one to talk to anyway.

"Let me take that, miss …." A servant took her luggage, and awaited her name. "Her name is Keladry of Mindelan" the carriage driver said, "She doesn't talk".

"Right this way Lady Keladry" The servant said, without even blinking "Let me escort you to your rooms". "A Lady that doesn't talk", the driver snorted "That's a first".

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So that's that

I'll try to update more frequently! :)

And please don't hesitate to give me any suggestions; I'll gladly use them as inspiration (the best kind :) !)


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